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Awakening Creativity Mental Health Mind Motivation Perfection Positivity Risk Taking Self Confidence Vulnerability Wellness

The Art of Vulnerability – How Vulnerable Are You?

Vulnerability

I have recently been listening to a series of talks about vulnerability by an American Researcher named Brené Brown. Now this word vulnerability has really struck a chord with me.

What does it really mean to be vulnerable? Why are we so scared of being vulnerable? What is the gain from vulnerability?

Now, when I am talking about vulnerability, I must make it clear that I’m talking about emotional vulnerability. As far as I can see there is no advantage to making yourself vulnerable by putting yourself in unnecessary danger.

As I continue on my quest for wisdom I am uncovering more and more ugly truths about my personality, repressed emotions, core beliefs and roots for toxic behaviour. As I dig deeper, deeper and deeper I inevitably end at a string of negative fears or core beliefs.

  • Fear of failure
  • Fear of rejection
  • Fear of not being loved
  • Fear of not being accepted
  • Fear of being ridiculed
  • Fear of not being attractive, funny or clever enough

All of these toxic beliefs that cause us to retract from the world and seek pleasure from external sources. We medicate, self-sabotage, escape, anything to avoid the feeling of being vulnerable, of having lost control.

Practising Vulnerability

To be vulnerable is to step out of your comfort zone, to experience new things. To try to fail, to scream and to wail. Being vulnerable is taking that leap of faith and opening up your heart despite the risk of potential pain and heartbreak. Opening your mind to the beauty of the world as well as the horrors.

You see without darkness there is no light, without sadness no happiness and without hate no love. A lot of us try and mitigate the pain from the darker side of life and opt to cruise through the middle feeling a numbingly average mixture of emotions.

We choose apathy, we choose to live an apathetic life. A pathetic life

We deny ourselves of true love, joy, compassion, ecstasy (the natural kind!), and empathy because truly experiencing these emotions requires a level of vulnerability that scares people.

Vulnerability is picking apart your brain and analysing every part, trying to improve in any way possible. Laying your flaws on the floor and painfully scrubbing each one until it is clean. Vulnerability is removing your mask and trying to live an authentic life. Saying yes when you mean yes and no when you mean no. Being open and honest regardless of the consequences.

Vulnerability is empathically sharing anothers pain, not just giving a sym-pathetic smile. Vulnerability is letting go of control of your environment and trusting that everything will be alright.

Putting your faith in a power greater than you is vulnerability.

Most people have been hurt at some stage in their life and it can be very hard to bounce back. Arguably the two most important things in life – love and creativity – are the two things that make us most vulnerable. Creation and innovation of things that have never been seen or heard before is vulnerability. The word vulnerability gives the negative connotation of weakness. This couldn’t be further from the truth.

Vulnerability requires bravery and the more vulnerable we make ourselves, the more we open ourselves up to the possibility of love, creativity, and authenticity.

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Vulnerability
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Curiosity Future of Humanity Motivation Positivity Self Confidence

Everything Happens For A Reason

Everything happens for a reason

24.07.20

I’m sure you have heard this cliché saying but have you ever stopped to consider that this may actually be true.

Losing your job, breaking up with a partner, even getting hit by a car – what if this is all supposed to happen to us?

Every single thing that happens to us from the worst imaginable thing to the best moment of our life happens for reason. Life is one big lesson and every day we are learning.

I’m going to throw in another cliché saying that “every cloud has a silver lining”.

Magical sky above Rambla Raval – Barcelona
@thequestforwisdom

I’m going to throw in another cliché saying that “every cloud has a silver lining”.

Every loss, period of depression, heartbreak, and pain that we feel makes us a better person. Everybody experiences suffering and low points in their life and no two peoples suffering are comparable.

We have the tendency to compare our suffering to others.

We see people dying, we see war, we see people without shelter or food.

It makes us think that our own suffering, our own internal struggle is worthless – is pathetic. People can live in what’s considered to be perfect surroundings – in total safety and comfort yet have internal struggles that are so bad that they prefer to end their life.

Paradoxically, there are people who live in horrific environments, suffer abuse, have their lives endangered on a daily basis yet they are happy and free.

This just goes to show that we are the Masters of our own destiny.

We can choose to suffer, or we can choose to be happy and free.

Now, by no means am I saying this is easy it is not. Freeing yourself mentally and emotionally is a long arduous process and the road to happiness has many traps on the way.

We spend our lives searching for happiness, and yearning for an inner peace that we may have momentarily experienced, but I truly believe that to experience inner peace we must not only experience but embrace the dark side of inner torture.

@morsha

Everything Happens For A Reason

Whenever you’re feeling low must always remember that everything happens for a reason, every cloud has a silver lining and the harder you fall the harder you will bounce back. Once you learn to accept that pain and suffering are temporary you can start to find happiness in sadness.

You can be happy and proud knowing that you are sad because you are facing your problems head-on. You’re working through an internal struggle instead of running, hiding, or masking the problem.

Every minute you spend in a dark place fighting through your problems you are chiselling away at your soft protective outer layer and shaping yourself into the true person that you really are.

Everything happens for a reason
@thedmsa

Once you learn to accept that everything happens for a reason you will start to see the positives outshining the negatives in all situations and you will be able to live your life in peace.

I like wearing hats and pulling stupid faces
@thequestforwisdom
@conorjmonaghan

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Communication Guest Articles Motivation Politics Society

Coronavirus in the UK : Keep Calm and Carry On Ignoring the Government

Guest article by Charlotte M

The other day I was speaking to someone who compared the UK’s refusal to abide by the rules of the Coronavirus pandemic in the UK to a naughty child in class. You know the one that won’t listen to the teacher and subsequently gets everyone held in at break time?

A pretty accurate comparison if you ask me. But my gosh, how embarrassing. Who knew staying at home and washing your hands could be so hard?

It’s thought by many that the Covid-19 case is as serious a global pandemic as the war. It’s also thought by many that this pandemic will cause a certain shift in the function of the world, even after it’s recovery. These beliefs alone are enough to shock you into action (one would hope anyway ey).

Granted, most people are now listening. But some still are not.

Coronavirus in the UK

Thus far, the UK in its entirety has received high-level emergency lockdown advice in order to reduce the spread of coronavirus cases. These come from the government and health officials as well as celebrities and many other influential bodies following suit; amplifying self-isolation, restricted reasons for leaving the house and social distancing.

We can’t help but pull our hair out wondering why the UK isn’t getting the message. Could it be because something as serious and life-altering as the coronavirus outbreak has never been experienced by this generation and the last?

Because we have gotten so comfortable with abiding by our own lifestyle rules? Because the people of this country are simply too ignorant to take notice and action for their local and wider community?

When the coronavirus first became a national emergency in China, the country swiftly went into lockdown. Likewise, places such as Ireland, Italy, Belgium, France, Spain and India brought in enforced measures to help reduce cases. Some strategies described as “brutal but effective”.

The people of these countries listened and followed what they were advised to do almost immediately. Acknowledging that whilst the virus may not be life-threatening for them personally, ignoring the measures advised by their government could be fatal to other members of the community.

So what does this say about the UK public and their value for the community; as we watch them still having picnics in the park? Still holding large gatherings? Still panic buying?

There’s something incredibly cringe-worthy about the term “panic buying”.

I think this is because, to me, it connotes pretty much every personality trait I can’t bear: selfish, narrow-minded, ignorant and entitled to name a few. Unfortunately, this panic-stricken reaction has proven to adopt a drastic case of the domino effect (I still don’t understand the toilet roll thing).

For some, it’s impulsive to respond to serious issues with humor. Hence why social media is constantly churning out content that makes jokes in relation to the virus and its consequential measures. From my personal experience, the ratio of serious to humorous coronavirus content across social media is pretty even (if not slightly leaning further towards humor as the majority).

Coronavirus in the uk
Photo by Brian Macgowan

Now I’m no Debbie Downer and a regular advocate for a snort-worthy meme. And similar people are likely to argue that diffusing the tension is necessary for the current circumstances; by reducing the negativity of the situation and “lightening the mood” for the good of the people. But when you really think about it… is lightening the mood, in this way, what we need when people aren’t listening to what needs to be done?

On the serious side, content has been circulating online displaying the elderly struggling to gather basic groceries, the sick unable to obtain the medicine they need. One particular video of a critical care nurse brought to tears after being faced with empty shelves following a 48-hour shift made me feel particularly ashamed.

Of course, it’s upsetting to see. But this is essentially the content we need to share more of on social if unprompted good-will alone won’t spark change in people’s actions. Coronavirus in the UK and the rest of the world is a pandemic that needs to be taken seriously.

If the severity hasn’t been made clear enough already through rising death rates and people under the age of 30 (with no underlying health conditions) contracting the virus and dying, it really makes you wonder how the minds of some people work.

The truth that the people of the UK need to grasp is that the “every man for themselves” and “It won’t happen to me” attitude is what will lead us to fall. The sooner we accept what needs to be done on a united front, the sooner this will end. Recovery starts with unity.

By Charlotte M

A big thank you to our first guest writer Charlotte!

If you would like to read a more positive outlook on Coronavirus in the UK then check the article below!

Click here to read another article about the positive side of the Coronavirus

If you would like to discuss anything that is written here then please get in contact via any of the methods below – or leave a comment on here to start a discussion. I love to hear feedback from everyone!

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Addiction ADHD Atomoxetine (Strattera) Brazil Mental Health Mind Motivation Obsession Positivity TQFW Blog

#7 Spiralling Towards Insanity Once Again

Apologies for the massive delay since my last post. My couple of months in Brasil I spent training Martial Arts, (Muay Thai, Capoeira, Jiu Jitsu, Judo and a bit of boxing). I dedicated myself completely to this and so couldnt focus on anything else.

It was extremely challenging and I spent basically all day trying to make sure to eat enough food to fuel myself for the intense training. My first few sessions I pushed myself so hard that I puked and I realised that I needed to slow down and try and focus on the technique not just brute force.

Martial arts are amazing. They teach you patience, give you structure, keep you motivated and push your body to the limits. I need to continue this here in Spain so that I can really develop. Although I learned a lot it was all too much too quick, and it is something that requires a lot of patience.

Slow Down and Breathe – There Is No Rush

This is something which I need to apply to life, SLOW DOWN, relax, breathe and take things one step at a time. During the last couple of months in Brasil I was so absorbed by the training that I missed out on opportunities to explore and overcome some of the other challenges and personal problems that I wanted to resolve.

This left me feeling a bit deflated and I went from being excited to return home to nervous. The last 2 weeks of my trip I had run out of Atomoxetine, (the medication I take for ADHD), and so I split the dose so that it would last until I arrived home. I probably could have found a way of getting it whilst I was there but I was also stupid and curious to find out what it would be like to be off the medication and if I really had been, “cured”.

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Curiosity Mental Health Mind Motivation Positivity Risk Taking

How To Live Life With No Regrets

I spent a large proportion of my childhood in Irish pubs in the UK and Ireland, and so spent a lot of time speaking to drunk, but sometimes very wise, adults. As a curious young child I would sit there quizzing them about their lives – where they´d been, what they had done, why they had done it. Always “why” , “why” “why”. It was through discussions with these people that I realised how to live life with no regrets.

For some reason people have a perception that to ask, “why”, is rude, intrusive, or annoying – when in reality, if the curiosity is genuine, and people are probed, they often love to open up and explain things.The “worst” reaction you can get from asking, “why?”, is that someone says they would rather not talk about that topic.

Live Life With No Regrets

One thing that has always stood out to me from my chats with friendly drunk, (mainly Irish), adults was the sense of regret about things that they had missed out on or not taken the chance to do.

The overwhelming feedback I got from my conversations was that it is SO important that we take the opportunity to do as much as we possibly can whilst we have no commitments or responsibilities, otherwise we will live our lives regretting not taking the opportunities.

Our years before we choose to settle down and have a family are the years to experiment, explore, take risks and do the crazier things in life that become less accessible and realistic once you have a family.   

Live life with no regrets whatsoever. If there is something you want to do find a way to do it without worrying about the consequences. Do not ever life thinking that you cannot do something because of obstacles.

Live Life With No Regrets

Removing Obstacles

Obstacles are something which are challenges yes but every single possible obstacle has a solution. To live thinking of the past and something you wish you had done but were afraid is stupid. If you need help or guidance in order to achieve your goals then just ask for it.

There are always people that will be better equipped to give you the tools that you need to achieve greatness. Self doubt and fear of failure is something that we all have within us but “failure” is just a societal concept that is drilled into us from birth.

Whether you succeed or fail in your pursuit of a goal is irrelevant. If you have failed, but you have given your best then consider that a win. You have put your effort into something and found out that it may not be something that you are good at – or particularly interested in – but every experience has invaluable knowledge and wisdom that can be learned from to improve your future self and becoming the best version of yourself that you can be.

Curiosity Should Drive Us

Life is about success and failure but curiosity should be the thing that we use to leave no stone un-turned. Curiosity is thwarted by fear of the unknown but so long as we have people to guide us and make us feel comfortable then there is literally no barrier whatsoever.

Society teaches us to be narrow minded and think of just what is in front of us. From birth we are taught to follow mainstream education, go to university get a job and become society’s puppet. We are told we HAVE to get married, get a mortgage have kids and continue life in a bubble.

For a lot of people, a stable family and marriage is all that they want and this is fantastic but for a lot of people they feel the pressure from society or family etc and feel they are obligated to rush into this.

Once you make the decision to have children let it be because you are ready to devote yourself 100% to your children and give up your free time and money for 18 years. Do not do it for fear of leaving it too long. 

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Categories
Fitness Mental Health Mind Motivation Positivity

Motivating Yourself

Put an exact realistic day where you are going to do something. And dedicate that day or period of time into focusing every single part of your energy into doing that thing at 100% capacity. Through doing this you will gain the maximum amount of knowledge from said thing.