I think this post is very relatable to a lot of people and we all need to learn for ourselves, or teach someone how not to be a terrible friend.
I am writing this post in a quirky Airbnb in Berlin after a few days of partying and much deliberation. I would say my state of mind is sad but rational.
A friendship to me means everything. It means 100% loyalty and 100% honesty. Recently I have come to notice that what I offer to people is very rarely reciprocated and it makes me sad. I find myself constantly giving giving giving, offering support, motivating and giving help and showing positivty to anyone that needs it, but I have noticed that very few people do this in return. I don’t know if this if because they don’t want to, or if they don’t know how to.
Words cannot describe the journey I have been on this weekend. I went from a state of complete and utter turmoil and chaos to flipping everything into the most positive experience of my entire life. What I have learned from the incredibly successful, intelligent and driven people that I spent time with is that literally the only motivation in life should be from happiness and searching for those natural highs.
Since my last post life has been absolute chaos, danger, destruction, and impulsivity due to my medication having not yet taken full effect again. I have had to ride this rollercoaster and just deal with each day becoming easier and easier. I have never felt so bad and so overwhelmed in my life.
Apologies for the massive delay since my last post. My couple of months in Brasil I spent training Martial Arts, (Muay Thai, Capoeira, Jiu Jitsu, Judo and a bit of boxing). I dedicated myself completely to this and so couldnt focus on anything else.
It was extremely challenging and I spent basically all day trying to make sure to eat enough food to fuel myself for the intense training. My first few sessions I pushed myself so hard that I puked and I realised that I needed to slow down and try and focus on the technique not just brute force.
Martial arts are amazing. They teach you patience, give you structure, keep you motivated and push your body to the limits. I need to continue this here in Spain so that I can really develop. Although I learned a lot it was all too much too quick, and it is something that requires a lot of patience.
Slow Down and Breathe – There Is No Rush
This is something which I need to apply to life, SLOW DOWN, relax, breathe and take things one step at a time. During the last couple of months in Brasil I was so absorbed by the training that I missed out on opportunities to explore and overcome some of the other challenges and personal problems that I wanted to resolve.
This left me feeling a bit deflated and I went from being excited to return home to nervous. The last 2 weeks of my trip I had run out of Atomoxetine, (the medication I take for ADHD), and so I split the dose so that it would last until I arrived home. I probably could have found a way of getting it whilst I was there but I was also stupid and curious to find out what it would be like to be off the medication and if I really had been, “cured”.
This article will go more into depth about the process of starting treatment for ADHD with Strattera (Atomoxetine) which I mentioned in my article about seeking help for Alcohol Addiction. and will explain how Strattera changed my life.
It explains the whole process of getting treated and what I experienced along the way, in a way which I hope is easy understand.
I am happy to say that this article concludes the introductory “autobiographical” story and brings everything up to the current date with where I am now, both physically and mentally.
From now on I will be able to focus more on what I am learning from my travels and experiences and writing about different things that I pick up along the way and hopefully starting a video log and potentially making a mini documentary in the Amazon.
I spent a large proportion of my childhood in Irish pubs in the UK and Ireland, and so spent a lot of time speaking to drunk, but sometimes very wise, adults. As a curious young child I would sit there quizzing them about their lives – where they´d been, what they had done, why they had done it. Always “why” , “why” “why”. It was through discussions with these people that I realised how to live life with no regrets.
For some reason people have a perception that to ask, “why”, is rude, intrusive, or annoying – when in reality, if the curiosity is genuine, and people are probed, they often love to open up and explain things.The “worst” reaction you can get from asking, “why?”, is that someone says they would rather not talk about that topic.
Live Life With No Regrets
One thing that has always stood out to me from my chats with friendly drunk, (mainly Irish), adults was the sense of regret about things that they had missed out on or not taken the chance to do.
The overwhelming feedback I got from my conversations was that it is SO important that we take the opportunity to do as much as we possibly can whilst we have no commitments or responsibilities, otherwise we will live our lives regretting not taking the opportunities.
Our years before we choose to settle down and have a family are the years to experiment, explore, take risks and do the crazier things in life that become less accessible and realistic once you have a family.
Live life with no regrets whatsoever. If there is something you want to do find a way to do it without worrying about the consequences. Do not ever life thinking that you cannot do something because of obstacles.
Obstacles are something which are challenges yes but every single possible obstacle has a solution. To live thinking of the past and something you wish you had done but were afraid is stupid. If you need help or guidance in order to achieve your goals then just ask for it.
There are always people that will be better equipped to give you the tools that you need to achieve greatness. Self doubt and fear of failure is something that we all have within us but “failure” is just a societal concept that is drilled into us from birth.
Whether you succeed or fail in your pursuit of a goal is irrelevant. If you have failed, but you have given your best then consider that a win. You have put your effort into something and found out that it may not be something that you are good at – or particularly interested in – but every experience has invaluable knowledge and wisdom that can be learned from to improve your future self and becoming the best version of yourself that you can be.
Curiosity Should Drive Us
Life is about success and failure but curiosity should be the thing that we use to leave no stone un-turned. Curiosity is thwarted by fear of the unknown but so long as we have people to guide us and make us feel comfortable then there is literally no barrier whatsoever.
Society teaches us to be narrow minded and think of just what is in front of us. From birth we are taught to follow mainstream education, go to university get a job and become society’s puppet. We are told we HAVE to get married, get a mortgage have kids and continue life in a bubble.
For a lot of people, a stable family and marriage is all that they want and this is fantastic but for a lot of people they feel the pressure from society or family etc and feel they are obligated to rush into this.
Once you make the decision to have children let it be because you are ready to devote yourself 100% to your children and give up your free time and money for 18 years. Do not do it for fear of leaving it too long.
Put an exact realistic day where you are going to do something. And dedicate that day or period of time into focusing every single part of your energy into doing that thing at 100% capacity. Through doing this you will gain the maximum amount of knowledge from said thing.